Sometimes we loose the war ....

I had a rude awakening during the week, when I realised I was letting my beliefs slip a bit.  Every one who knows me, know that I am only for natural birth, unless medically impossible.  And that even when your baby is not yet born, you need to put his needs before your wants.

My faith and views about God was also tested, not yet sure whether I failed or passed.  My heart said one thing my head another.  Maybe I reacted compulsively, maybe I did what I had to.

I my mind you can't pray for your marriage and still cheat on your partner, it kind of cancels out the whole prayer.  Just so you can't pray for a natural birth if you have already booked an induction. 

When we pray we need to trust.  We can't under estimate the power of prayer, nor can we take for granted that when we ask people to pray they actually will.

A very close friend of mine (well not any more) has been asking for months that every one prays for a healthy good natural birth.  And I have no doubt in my mind that she and the little one has been in our prays.  Early this week she announced that she is being induced on Friday, but every one should please still pray that baby comes naturally?

Huh, why then pray? You obviously don't believe it will work? 

My heart breaks for babies who has to go through this.

Don't be big mouthed about how you are pro natural birth, and then go for an induction.  It is anything but natural.

I gave up a friendship, actually more than one.  But my heart said go, though my head said stay.

Every one else supported and encouraged her, and that pulled the trigger.  We are her friends, we should have told her that it is wrong.  I was the only one who didn't keep quiet! I get that friendship goes deeper than some things, but when I am told to rather stop, then you are telling me to give up.

I will never shut up, I will never back down, some one has to fight for those who can't speak.  Risking your babies life, for your own comfort is far from passionate.

It was a good, fun chapter in my life, but for my own sake it is over.  I will be moving forward, still standing my ground.

Every one can say I am silly, they can yawn at my stories and research, but I will go on knowing that one day I will make a difference!!